From the Silicon to the Tanana Valley: March 2024

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Another spring approaches

We have just finished spring break and holy cow it was the least of a break I'd ever had! It's crunch time for graduate students defending theses planning to graduate in spring, and I had drafts to review and defenses to attend. In between, the dogs' daily run has taken more time as Queen Thistle has begun to slow down, and her shoulder has started to bother her quite a bit. On her better days, she walks the full 3-mile loop with her seesters and me, and they are super patient with her pace, which is especially impressive from Raven, the young'un.

However, sometimes Thistle's shoulder bugs her too much for her to do our longer walks with her seesters, so I drop her off at home after a short jaunt and we continue without her. It's hard. Without her, I feel rudderless, and some mornings I am so upset that I can't even run. We just walk our loop.

Although when we get home we generally find her waiting with perfect equanimity.

Sometimes I struggle with watching her age. For example, when she declines to eat her breakfast, it ruins my day. When she gobbles down her breakfast AND does our whole walk, I am so happy I am giddy! But then I get all upset again if she doesn't finish her supper. I know this isn't "healthy" at all, and I'm trying to apply to myself the wisdom that I already know: That is, she *will* leave us one day, but in the meantime, there is no point in pre-suffering when the pain has not come yet! It's something I tell my friends all the time, but struggle to apply to myself. She still surveys her yard at least once daily, and that always lightens my heart.

And sometimes she trots around so quickly I can't even catch her in a photo!

The other bit of wisdom that I am forever reminding others but struggle to embrace myself, is to let her be my guide. My Queen Thistle, she is not full of anxiety every day. She loves her life, even though now it's gentler and slower. And she will love her life as long as she can. So, too, should I just be gentle with all of us and love her as long as I can.

Raven is doing great in her skijor training! She's far more disciplined when hooked up with Cricket, but sometimes Cricket runs loose so she can have more fun.