One fine day

One morning in the spring of 2013, I woke up from a strange dream. I should tell you at this point that I tend to have *very* mundane dreams. I dream about doing the dishes; I dream about my commute; I dream about running or skiing; and I dream about work. Anyway, in my dream I was sitting in my usual chair at our weekly staff meeting (I told you!). However, after it ended, I got up, walked across the room toward the door that leads back to my office, and noticed my coworker DL sitting in a chair by the door. For some reason, I felt the need to hug him, and so I did. And he wrapped his long arms and enormous hands around me, I snuggled close, and then I woke up.

Weird. I promptly put it out of my mind and began my day. A few days later, at work for real, I was chatting with DL about something work-related. Then suddenly, I thought, "Whoa. Holy crap, it's you. I didn't recognize you at first because I kinda thought you'd be Asian and there you are looking instead more like a viking warrior, so it threw me off. But there you are... Well, I guess we'd better get on with it then."

When I brought him home, the girls said, "Oh. You found him. Cool."


It's been a peaceable, delightfully pleasant time since then. We decided somewhat arbitrarily that Thanksgiving should be our anniversary, and we have a lot to be thankful for. A few months ago, it occurred to me that we had never had an argument. I asked him, "Do you find it odd that we've never had an argument? Like never? Not once? In a year?" He said, "No. I think we paid our dues and deserve this now."

People say that passion fades, in fact leads to unnecessary drama, and that you should not look to fall head over heels and instead should find a partner with qualities that you value in a friend and a business partner.

That always sounded perfectly reasonable to me.

I've also been told by sensible, long-married people that a partnership that is based on ticking all of the "compatibility" boxes but with no spark of chemistry will never last. You need that bit of magic to get you through the tough times.

And that sounded perfectly reasonable to me, too.

I never understood how to reconcile these two things until I had my realization with DL. It turns out that passion can be also perfectly reasonable and peaceful and not come with pain or drama, and that that's how it should be. And I will pass along my own tip to add to these bits of wisdom: Trust your dogs. :)