In which Arvay crushes your dreams

So while skiing on the Tanana yesterday, a friend told me about a story she'd watched in the news. One Davey du Plessis, a South African adventurer, had deduced a new source of the Amazon River, and wished to kayak it to its mouth. Before he got very far, he was shot and left for dead by robbers in Peru. I was intrigued and went to google the story. I am not an "adventurous" type myself, but I spend a lot of time in the wilderness, so I figure I can learn a lot from the adventurers, who often have great survival skills and preparedness tips. I learned that du Plessis had heard reports of an increase in drug-fueled muggings and killings in the area in the past year, but opted to continue his trip as planned.

Imagine my disgust to read his words in this article:
“To say I was shaken and scared before going into the paddling is an understatement, I had absolutely no experience paddling a river, especially of this scale, nor had I ever paddled in a foldable kayak. This was going to be many first for me, but I decided to do what I always do – take precautions with a pinch of salt, trust in my capabilities and remain naive to any opinions or news. At the end of the day no matter what I hear, my path has been chosen and what happens will happen, so I opt for ruminating and believing in the positive and remaining optimistic. Naivety [sic] and a lack of knowledge is sometimes the best way of remaining positive and optimistic.” (emphasized words mine)

Jesus Christ. I can't even tell you how much this upsets me. I have great respect for true adventurers, and I grieve when they die despite their best preparations. But to go in with no preparation whatsoever makes you not only an idiot but a selfish jerk who will make others go out of their way to rescue you when the need arises.

As I've mentioned before, Alaskans are in general a kind and generous lot--they'll stop and help a car that's stuck on the side of the road, they'll host a spaghetti feed to raise money for the family whose kid was diagnosed with cancer, etc, etc.

However, they have very little patience, and no sympathy, for the "adventurous" types who announce grandiose wilderness survival plans, and then go out with no idea of how to execute them. For example, our two most famous anti-heroes are Christopher McCandless (he of the death in the bus by Denali) and Timothy Treadwell (he who "befriended" and got eaten by bears). I'm not sure how people feel about these two Outside of Alaska, but I believe that they are somewhat romanticized. Here in Alaska, they are regarded as idiots who endangered themselves and anyone who might have tried to help them.

As long as we're on the topic of me crushing the dreams of hopeless romantic adventurers, here's another thing. That whole "living off the wilderness" thing? Those days are long gone. Absolutely no-one does that in Alaska. This country is too harsh, too cold, and too fat-starved. Even back in the Gold Rush days of hard-living, self-sufficient mining, the men and women who hiked up the Chilkoot Trail to winter in the Klondike weren't even allowed onto the trail unless they had 2000 pounds of provisions per person, including flour, sugar, beans, and warm clothing. Howard Luke, an Athabascan elder who was raised in the old ways, lives in his cabin, isolated on the far side of the river, with a wind turbine to power his cell phone. As late as the 1980's, a family, or a young couple, wasn't welcome into Eagle unless they showed up with a tremendous enough pile of provisions that they looked like they'd be able to take care of themselves for the first brutal winter. My neighbors, the L's, the most self-sufficient family I know, spend 3-4 months every winter in their cabin in the bush, trapping, living off stored goods, and home-schooling their girls. I watch them leave, and welcome them back, and do you know what I see them depart with? Yeah, boxes and mounds of provisions!

Sorry, romantics, but that whole "living off the land" thing just doesn't happen here. I do understand that yearning. Believe me, in my soul, I get it. It's romantic and idealistic and beautiful and appealing to the core of me. But it ain't gonna happen.

Moral of today's post: Be prepared, y'all.