Friday, April 27, 2012


It won't be long now!

Finally, before I leave you nine of my loyal readers for the weekend, I would like to call attention to what will be my final comment in the great "is it appropriate for me to change my own tires" debate (scroll down to the comments).

I think that when something needs to be done, if your immediate first thought is, "Okay, let's do this!" you're positioned to do better in life than if your immediate first thought is, "Okay, whom do I call to do this for me?" Sure, I don't have to change my own tires, but it's part of a general life philosophy and habit that I believe has served me well.

Car issues are but one example of many, but car issues provide a particularly good example because the benefits of knowing how to take care of your own minor car issues are immediate and obvious. If I were to have a flat tire on the highway, being practiced in changing my own tire will save me valuable time, each minute of which places my life in immediate danger due to dangerous weather, potentially predatory humans, and careless drivers who might not see me on the side of the road.

But honestly, justification of why I needed to swap my own tires did not even enter my mind. Not for one red second. I didn't sit and think, "Well, it takes me fifteen minutes to drive to the tire shop, then an hour of waiting, and then... versus putting on dirty pants and then jacking up the car and then..." I didn't think about it at all. I just said, "Time to change the tires," and that was that. And that is how I live my life. To be frank, I don't think I'm capable of changing into the "helpless woman" model now. I am not accustomed to it. It would take me tremendous mental effort to stop at every step of my day to think, "Is it proper for me to do this? Can I get someone else to do this for me?" And I don't feel any particular motivation to make such an effort, because being self-sufficient whenever possible, and cultivating friendships for when not, is a model that has served me very well. And yes, I'm damned proud of that.

This, me:

This, also me:



Rena said...

Yup, won't be long before some moose comes along to chomp on all the fresh growth!
Glad you're well into spring. Have you started your garden, then?

mdr said...

I am proud of you too, for how you look and what you can do, but not always for how you think. However, everyone is entitled to think their own way. My major concern is always your SAFETY. If only God will quarantee me your safety and good health, I will give much less unsolicitated "advice".

Debs said...

Great post - more women (and men!) should think that way ;-)

Also, I like the tag "arbitrary irrelevant photos of very large animals" LOL

Tails said...

We are women! Hear us roar!!

Arvay said...

@Mdr: I, too, think that my number one concern should be SAFETY. Which means self-sufficiency. Standing by the side of a busy, or deserted (both have their dangers) highway waiting for someone to help is WAY more dangerous than taking care of your own car and getting the hell out of there!

LOL @Debs. Yup, I'm an irrelevant very large animal. :)

Vanessa said...

are you on your tip toes or are those 3" heels? wowsa!

girl power!

i always get called out for rolling the trash bins up and down the driveway in my pregnant state. i'm just pregnant, not disabled. grumble grumble.

Arvay said...

Three inch heels, to be sure! :)

flying fish said...

I read "is it appropriate for me to change my tires" as "is it too early to take off studded tires"!

3 inch heels!

Arvay said...

@FF: I actually solicited opinions via Facebook on whether it was temporally appropriate to change my tires. :)

b said...

What's with the unabomber mentality? (i.e., living in the woods being self sufficient). Human beings live in societies that help each other. You don't have to do everything. Changing a tire at a tire shop is nothing to be ashamed about! In fact, it's cheaper, easier, and faster, than doing it yourself! Don't let your machismo get in the way! you're being like a guy! (Do you have too much ego now to stop and ask for directions too? :) )

b said...

P.S. You spend an awful lot of time on this blog trying to show how cool it is that you do all this manual labor. I mean, enough about how you chop wood and walk 15 miles uphill both ways in -25F everyday to school already! :)

Arvay said...


Wow. Who said anything about shame? Cheaper, easier, faster... did you even read the post?

If you don't like the content of this blog, don't read it. Or just scroll past the posts that offend you and look at fuzzy duckies and behbehreindeer. Sheesh.

bt said...

Woah...@b -- your comments contain some off-the-wall personal attacks.




"Trying to show how cool" you are?

Perhaps a public comment area on a personal blog isn't the forum your looking for?

bt said...

Because, as we all know, Internet comment forums are best used for mis-uses of you're and your...

b said...

@bt - you don't know half the background! you should see the attacks i get!!!

i guess it's ok with you that all of us "conventional" types are considered pathetic losers?

bc that's the message i constantly get!

Arvay said...

@b: Please email me privately ONE example of me calling you a "pathetic loser". I just did a gmail search for the word "pathetic" and your name, and found only one occurrence (since spring of 2005, when I started using gmail). It was used by you in the same context as this; it started with an unsolicted attack from you of me, and you defended yourself by saying, "Stop calling me pathetic!" which I did not do.

gmail search for the word "loser" + your email yields one hit; a friendly chat of me informing you that my ex husband is/was a loser.

From where, exactly, are you "constantly" getting this message? From this blog? This blog is not about you. It's just about my life, and the way I do things. When I say, "I do this," what it means is, "I do this." Full stop. It passes no judgement on you. If you view my public blog posts, which I send out, unpassword-protected, to the entire world, as personal attacks against you, then you might want to do some soul-searching.

And at this point, I'd like to take this conversation to private communication; it's embarrassing for you.

Jean said...

Wow, Arvay you're kind because it's kind of fun to watch b implode so publicly. :P It's pretty apparent that B needs some serious therapy. B seems to think of themselves as a pathetic loser (especially by pretending you said so) because they like things cheaper, easier, and faster. Liking things cheaper, easier, and faster doesn't make you a loser, just status quo. Idiotic attacks on a someone else's blog though are actually what makes for a pathetic loser.

Props to Daisy for railing against the current status quo and for reminding us women in our comfortable urban lives, that we are stronger than we believe.